I've been in a funk recently. The rose colored goggles have come off. I have not been enjoying nursing school for these last 2 weeks. So much to the point that I've been questioning did I even pick the right school, wanted to go through all of social media and delete everything dealing with promotion of nursing school and considering looking at other healthcare professions. I understand that it's only the beginning of the semester and things may get significantly better but right now to simply put it: I'm really not feeling it. These last 2 weeks have been a blur but here are the things worth mentioning:
- I passed validations which means I can officially pass medications and give injections! This is supposed to be the only one for this semester so I'm glad it's out of the way, even if it did seem a bit rushed.
- Mental health is probably going to be my favorite class this semester. We have great dialogue and my professor appears to be truly passionate about the material.
- These last 2 weeks in Med-Surg campus clinical I really started to feel like a true "nursing student." Last semester I felt as though it was solely didactic with no responsibility to match. Just constant book work without the opportunity to apply any of the knowledge we learned.
- Found out we only have 3 days of campus clinical scattered throughout the semester.
- Only 6 rotations for mental health which means the second half of the semester I only have class and clinical Monday - Wednesday.
- My apartment put me in a forced transfer - meaning I was given 2 days to move into a different unit because they needed an "empty" two bedroom. Better now than in the thick of the semester. Next year I'll do better research when looking for somewhere to live because I can't take too much more of the shenanigans. I'm going to miss my beautiful view but I'm grateful to still have a place to lay my head.
- I hate busy work. As I get further into nursing school I find myself questioning, "what is the purpose of this assignment?" Your time is so limited outside of nursing school so when you find yourself doing what appears to be busy work but is instead disguised as an assignment "necessary to provide a well rounded curriculum," you formulate a game plan on how to be the most effective with your limited free time.
- Having no laptop is getting old. Thankfully I've been able to use the library and computers in my apartment complex to complete any assignments I've had to turn in recently. I'm not quite sure what type of MacBook I'll get to replace my old one but I need to figure it out quickly.
- Last semester spoiled us to a certain degree. After being in class from 8-4 daily I only want to go home and lay down and watch "The Office." You forget how much school depletes your energy when you've been on a 3 week vacation. If there's anything nursing school will teach you it's discipline.
- Self- care has saved me these last 2 weeks. Any opportunity to take my mind off of school has been appreciated. Sometimes you just have to eat the cake and drink the wine. Eat the cake and watch Netflix. Drink the wine and get the pedicure. Whatever it is, do it.
The purpose of these updates is 1) to be honest about my journey to becoming an RN and 2) have an archive to look back on once the semester ends and once I graduate. I just want to be transparent. Nursing school is not always cute scrubs and cute compression socks. Nursing school is not perfectly written notes with strategically placed cold brew coffee. Nursing school is not perfect grades on every assignment.
I have been in post secondary programs for the last 8 years and the reality is that I am very tired.
I want to have a career.
I want to travel.
I want to do adult things.
I want to have time for side hustles and passion projects.
I want to be done with school.
I haven't had class since last week Wednesday which makes for a total of 6 days off from school. Hopefully that gives me time to reset and approach this new week and the subsequent weeks with a more positive outlook.
I think I'm going to take a step back from nursing content on social media for a while. I'll still do these weekly updates but for now I just need to honest with myself.
Happy Sunday!
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